20 April, 2011

You Can't Be Serious

I honestly had to look at my calendar after I read this one. I promise it's for real.

For those of you who follow Bundesliga action, perhaps you saw this, perhaps you didn't. Next season, VFL Wolfsburg is going all Hangover on you.

How's that you ask?

Well, this is how:

Yes... a wolf on the jersey. Now some of you may wonder about the rationale of putting wolves on a shirt. Well, for you doubters, check over here at Amazon for some reviews on the power of the "3 Wolves" tshirt:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Maybe Wolfsburg will harness that power and win a double next year, or even a triple with the Pokal, the League and Europa League or something... then again.

Yeah, I'm a doubter and this is probably one that is going down in the annals of just simply stupid looking. If you want to blame anyone, blame 14yo Fabian Thamm and the 39% of voters who picked this abomination online.

Photo: VFL Wolfsburg

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