06 October, 2011

Bye Bye, Santa's Evil Twin

Now, forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I'm happy to see Chucky Blazer retiring at the end of this year from CONCACAF (and FIFA in 2013 after the WC).

Some of you may wonder why though. See, Chucky, can I call him Chucky, good. Well, Chucky, he's still a little tainted from that whole bribery before the bribery in CONCACAF that led to the "resignation" of Jack Warner and firing of Mohammad bin Hammam. For a span of nearly 10 years, Chucky was grafting his way around the Caribbean like the best of them. Yet, unlike most of the others, he did a pretty damn good job of keeping all his skeletons in the closet. If someone wanted to open that door up just a bit, they would also be incriminating themselves, so it was a sort of mutual destruction reassurance that he had going.

Now that Warner is out of FIFA, he's been peddling the selected information to any news outlet he can to incriminate the guy who reported him to FIFA in such a way that it had to be public. It's not like Sepp Blatter didn't know any of this was going on before, it's just that Warner got so brazen he just didn't even bother concealing most of what he was doing.

Now don't go feeling sorry for Chucky about losing his now cushy job (which admittedly he did help build up from a position who's office included two desks and a rickety shack with ~$400K in annual federation income to an office with headquarters in NY's Trump Towers, a $40mil annual federation income and a nice bank account offshore (along with his own private offshore stash). He has plenty of money cut from those revenues to keep him fat, happy, and wearing those hideously ugly ties from the 70s until well after his demise.

As an Ex-Co member, he's one of a select few that get bribed to vote a certain way on a regular basis, and as the General Secretary of CONCACAF, he's bribed to vote a certain way on a regular basis. Arguably, the bribing is all done as Sepp got 2 WC votes done in his waning years to ensure that his buddies could make one final cut before getting out. You see, FIFA can't go after non-FIFA employees so once they are out, all we can do his shout, point and yell "shame, shame". And with 8 digits in his bank account, I'm pretty sure Chucky will have no problem listening to that. Hell, I'm sure he could even hire Kanye West and have him auto tune it for him.

So who's taking his spot? Well, as an Ex-co member, it'll be someone from CONCACAF, but no one American most likely as the only real "power" for the US is with Sunil Gulati at the moment. Sunil might, but his biggest issue is that pesky paid and taxed job at UIC teaching Econ, so unless he plans a retirement soon, that won't be an option. There's Lisle Austin, the guy who took over for a day only to be summarily dismissed in the wake of the Jack Warner fiasco. Most likely, CONCACAF won't let that happen. Right now, our money is on Horrace Burrell of Jamaica as he's been good enough to stay relatively quiet, and he fits the Sepp Blatter mold of taking bribes and generally being quiet about it despite being hated by most everyone in his federation.

Blazer commented, “In looking back at my years at CONCACAF, I have great satisfaction in having achieved all my objectives, including unprecedented revenues, new initiatives in competitions and modern technology in administration.”
Or you could always vote for Grant Wahl.

Yeah, forgot that we normal schmucks don't count.

Photo: Futurama

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